A philosopical post…

…so quit reading here if you are expecting spectacular news about needlework.  Actually…I did have the sisterhood over on Saturday so I put needle to fabric…and FINISHED the kloster blocks on my hardanger piece. More about that when I take a photo.

First I need to ask those of you who have emailed me about stash for sale to please be patient with me a little longer.  I’ve gotten to the point where I can navigate around my stitching room, but digging bins out of the closet is still a few days a way. I have to first clear at least one horizontal surface…not the one holding my laptop 🙂  Apart from some of the Lori Birmingham pieces listed which have been spoken for, most everything is still for sale.  I just need to make certain they made the move and I can lay hands on them.  I promise I will be in touch within the week and I do thank you for your interest.  Between moving, traveling and company…not to mention work at this moment…life has had its little challenges.

And…speaking of challenges: (How’s that for a connection? )  Something that has been on my mind a lot the last few weeks is how much more freeing the phrase ‘I can’ is as opposed to ‘I can’t’ and it’s close cousin ‘I’m afraid’.  ‘I can’t’ narrows my world far more than heart disease or age.  ‘I can’  or it’s cousin ‘I going to give it my best shot’ keep me engaged…living while I have life.  I will probably stumble, I may even fall (although I don’t really want to think of that in the context of the following paragraphs)….but at least I tried.  This is even Biblical, although I confess I thought about that only this morning after two weeks of tossing these ideas around in my head.  Paul said “I can do ALL things…” and then he goes on to explain how…I can do ALL things THROUGH Christ Who strengthens me.’

Okay…little less comfortable here.  This tells me where my strength is (or should be) sourced.  Not in my own fortitude, but in God’s. In His will, for His glory. Oh. Gulp.  I guess that probably means I should drag my sorry butt out of bed on Sunday morning and seek Him in His house with other believers. I guess that probably means my beloved Inductive Study Bible should alter its role of being an impressive paperweight.  I guess that means I need to work on my vertical relationship….to assist in all the ‘I can’s’ I have on my list, not to mention to deepen this most important relationship of all in my life.

Does God care that one of the HUGE goals in my life is to walk the Mackinac Bridge?

Where did THAT come from you may ask (quite legitimately, I might add).  Here we are talking theology and now bridges? Zoooooommmmmmm. You might even be thinking I’ve lost it.

But it was a visit to the Mackinac Bridge that started this whole train of thought.  The week before Labor Day, I was in Upper Michigan. I can’t be in Upper Michigan without being drawn to that spectacular conglomeration of cables, pavement and towers spanning the Straits of Mackinac.  Bridges are a passion of my life. I have driven the Bay Bridge at Annapolis…that’s the Chesapeake Bay Bridge, folks. The UBER bridge of the DC area. The bridge even my brother is afraid to drive over and he’s not afraid of anything!  And I have driven it 4 times (2 round trips). Not only have I driven it, but I got a rush out of it. (Whilst hanging on to the wheel for dear life:-))

And…just to show how passionate I am about such things, I have detoured hours out of my way to do the Mackinac….and others of its kind.  In fact, if I believed in this sort of thing, I would be a civil engineer in my next life! I love bridges…the higher the better and my favorites are suspension bridges.  And…it just so happens that every Labor Day they close two lanes of the Mackinac and 70,000 people walk its one way five mile length.

Isn't it GLORIOUS?!?

GLORIOUS

This is my dream. I want to be right in the middle of that 70,000 strong crowd.  I want nothing between me and the bridge but my feet. I have wanted it for years. I can walk the five miles…even with the incline. I can do this…I will do this…even when people look at me like I’m bloody nuts…it is a dream…a goal…a…

Well…except this last time I was over it the love affair seemed to pale.  IN fact, I swear the bridge grew. It was a whole lot higher than I remember. In fact, it was dizzyingly high. Questions started to come.  How many cars have gone over the side?  I WANT DETAILS!!!!!!!!!  Okay, pause, breathe…this is a walk I’m considering. No cars involved. Whew.

Oh…the little voice started again…but what if a really big wind comes up in the middle of aforementioned stroll across the water?  A tornado? A HURRICANE!? (In Michigan???) Or even worse what might happen if a mongo huge ore boat manages to give up acres of open water to aim directly at a supporting pier while I’m blissfully swaying 250 feet directly above?

I started to listen. I didn’t even look up at my beautiful towers. This wasn’t me, was it? Normally, I beg, plead and endure endless teasing because I’m willing to pay six dollars a lap on this beautiful, swaying, useful creation of man (mostly in the form of U.S. Steel American Bridge division and the brave members of the Bridge Builders Local 212 (not accurate, but you know what I mean).

Six bucks…lunch…not only lunch, but given the number of laps I usually like to do maybe even a nice dinner. A new knitting or needlework project. Think about this, people…how much more of a passion can it be when I would give up more colored string to cross this bridge when I don’t even need to get to the other side?

But be that as it may, this time the what-ifs kept it to a simple back and forth and I was ready to move on to something…more grounded. In my mind, fear prompted me to whisper a sad goodbye to the walk dream and left me feeling…well…a little older.

I was halfway to the next destination before this really started bugging me. I mean REALLY!!! I was riled. Am I going to let my world be narrowed even further by stupid fears of what might be?  Come on…I’ve had my heart stopped, cut open, a vein from my leg sown in and had it restarted…by someone who was little more than a (very) gifted stranger.  How can I be worried about a measly little ore boat. Sheesh!

Psalm 139 says that God Himself has numbered my days. That means that when it’s time for me to go out I am going to go out wherever I am…fulfilling a wonderful dreams, stretching my boundaries or cowering in a corner. And no matter what is going on…even if it’s the most wonderful thing in THIS world…I don’t want to be here one moment outside of God’s plan.

My conclusion?  First I’m going to get my sorry butt out of bed on Sunday to work on that vertical relationship. Second, God really does care about my dreams…because He’s the one who made me.  Third…see ya next year Labor Day on this really long, high bridge. I’m looking for anyone willing to travel that road with me (in defiance of wind, errant boats and swaying cables)

Next time I’ll be here with photos of my new stitching room, photos of travels, a few progress notes on (gasp) stitching and e-mails to all those that are faithfully waiting.

Here’s to ‘I CAN’!!!!!

Blessings,

Julie

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Comments

  • KarenV  On September 5, 2008 at 12:57 am

    “Am I going to let my world be narrowed even further by stupid fears of what might be?” Thank you. I needed to hear that today. I’m sure you’ll achieve your dream next year.

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